Psalm 32:8 describes the relationship that a loving God wishes to have with each and every one of us; directing us, guiding us and being with us. A person’s relationship with our Lord seems to vary from person to person and even era to era. In the modern era, often marked by hyper-individualism and self-creation, I think much can be learned from the relationship that a young articulate, yet uneducated, 14th century Christian woman named Catherine had with our Lord. Catherine took time in prayer “to look at herself in the gentle mirror of God”(1). There in that gentle mirror she would “see all the more clearly her own defects because of the purity she sees in him.”(1)
Perhaps the place in the bible where this understanding of seeing oneself clearly in the light of God’s grace is best illustrated is in the last chapter of the Gospel of John. Jesus is meeting with Simon Peter at the Sea of Galilee after the resurrection. In the original Greek version (John 21:15 -16) Jesus twice asks Simon Peter if he “Agape” loves him. Simon Peter replies both times that he “Filo” loves Jesus. In most modern texts only the word love is put in both sentences but understanding the differences in these two words is critical in understanding the text and in understanding Simon Peter’s honesty in the Light of God’s grace. Agape love is an unconditional love, whereas, filo love is a brotherly love. The courageous and exuberant Simon Peter, the leader of the 12 apostles, just a few days earlier denied his friend Jesus and left him to die alone on the cross. This was a demonstration of anything but Agape love. Simon Peter, now in the light of the grace of the risen Lord, looks at the resurrected Jesus and then looks at himself and knows that he does not unconditionally (Agape) love Jesus. Simon Peter was honest with both himself and Jesus. The next step in the conversation (John 21:17) is Jesus coming down to Simon Peter’s level and asking Simon Peter if Simon Peter Filo loves him. Jesus understands Simon Peter’s weakness and is willing to meet him where he is. God always meets us where we are in order to draw us to where we should be. Jesus then lets Simon Peter know that there will be a time in the future when Simon Peter will demonstrate that he unconditionally (Agape) loves Jesus (John 21: 18-19).
Jesus and Simon Peter’s discussion at the Sea of Galilee is an example of the instruction that Catherine of Siena sees as critical in deepening our relationship with God. Simon Peter looked at himself in the gentle mirror of Jesus’s eyes and saw his own defects because of the purity he saw in Jesus. Jesus; however, did not leave Simon Peter alone in his own guilt but gently lead Simon Peter to a deeper type of love.
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Regarding St. Catherine of Siena, Catherine was born in 1347 and died in 1380. She lived in an era dominated by men in leadership and governance, which makes her many accomplishments even more remarkable. When Catherine talked, everyone listened.
- The analogy that the Cross of Christ is the bridge between heaven and earth was perhaps first used by Catherine. See the following hyperlink regarding Catherine’s writings on this subject: Christ Is Our Mystical Bridge - Living With Christ
- In addition to her teachings on the spiritual life recorded in her book the “Dialogue” and her many prayers and letters, Catherine had numerous leadership achievements including interceding between various waring Italian states and perhaps most famously for her rather forceful instruction to Pope Gregory to leave his comfortable residence in France and to comeback to Rome to lead the Church. Pope Gregory heeded Catherine’s advice and returned to Rome.
- Catherine was canonized a saint in 1460 and was proclaimed a Doctor in the Catholic Church in 1970.
For more information on the spirituality of Catherin of Siena I suggest reading, “Saint Catherine of Siena, Mystic of Fire, Preacher of Freedom” by Fr. Paul Murray, OP.
1) “Dialogue” no 13, no 48
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